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Mitä sitten saa jos ei voita tätä pyyntikisaa?
Duunissa siirryttiin pikkusen jyrkemmälle linjalle:
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work
is done enough.
YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount Gross pay e1,222.02 Income tax e244.40 Outgo tax e45.21 State tax e11.61 Interstate tax e61.10 County tax e6.11 City tax e12.22 Rural tax e4.44 Back tax e1.11 Front tax e1.16 Side tax e1.61 Up tax e1.08 Down tax e1.14 Tic-Tacs e1.98 Thumbtacks e3.93 Carpet tacks e0.98 Stadium tax e0.69 Flat tax e8.32 Surtax e2.23 Ma'am tax e1.23 Corporate tax e2.60 Parking fee e5.00 F.I.C.A. e81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund e9.95 Life insurance e5.85 Health insurance e16.23 Dental insurance e4.50 Mental insurance e4.33 Disability e2.50 Ability e0.25 Liability e3.41 Coffee e6.85 Coffee Cups e66.51 Floor rental e16.85 Chair rental e0.32 Desk rental e4.32 Union dues e5.85 Union don'ts e3.77 Cash advance e0.69 Cash retreats e121.35 Overtime e1.26 Undertime e54.83 Eastern time e9.00 Central time e8.00 Mountain time e7.00 Pacific time e6.00 Time Out e12.21 Oxygen e10.02 Water e16.54 Heat e51.42 Cool air e26.83 Hot air e20.00 Miscellaneous e113.29 Various e8.01 Sundry e12.09
Net Take Home Pay e0.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice weekend.
The Management
Mitä sitten saa jos ei voita tätä pyyntikisaa?
Duunissa siirryttiin pikkusen jyrkemmälle linjalle:
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work
is done enough.
YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount Gross pay e1,222.02 Income tax e244.40 Outgo tax e45.21 State tax e11.61 Interstate tax e61.10 County tax e6.11 City tax e12.22 Rural tax e4.44 Back tax e1.11 Front tax e1.16 Side tax e1.61 Up tax e1.08 Down tax e1.14 Tic-Tacs e1.98 Thumbtacks e3.93 Carpet tacks e0.98 Stadium tax e0.69 Flat tax e8.32 Surtax e2.23 Ma'am tax e1.23 Corporate tax e2.60 Parking fee e5.00 F.I.C.A. e81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund e9.95 Life insurance e5.85 Health insurance e16.23 Dental insurance e4.50 Mental insurance e4.33 Disability e2.50 Ability e0.25 Liability e3.41 Coffee e6.85 Coffee Cups e66.51 Floor rental e16.85 Chair rental e0.32 Desk rental e4.32 Union dues e5.85 Union don'ts e3.77 Cash advance e0.69 Cash retreats e121.35 Overtime e1.26 Undertime e54.83 Eastern time e9.00 Central time e8.00 Mountain time e7.00 Pacific time e6.00 Time Out e12.21 Oxygen e10.02 Water e16.54 Heat e51.42 Cool air e26.83 Hot air e20.00 Miscellaneous e113.29 Various e8.01 Sundry e12.09
Net Take Home Pay e0.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice weekend.
The Management
