POKEY'S MINI-ADVENTURE (DAZED & CONFUSED ORC ROGUE)
Part 1
Earlier today in the barrens I ambushed this rogue named midnight and he was all leik ' rofltomato wtf pwnd!!!!1!!!1!!!!!!one!!!!2!!!!!!' And he was all like 'WTF nwb haxxorz!!! i report you cause u r a sploiter.' And I am leik' I'M RICK JAMES B!TCH pew pew!!' So he liek calls his buddies and this hunter shows up called dagnabit and he shotts fireworks but these firework are sploitz cause they broked my *poof* button!! And I am leik WTF my I win button is broked!! And he laughs at me!!So i'm leik 'wtf pwng I r a rouge and I could PWN you with a pair of plastic saftey siscorrs noob!! '
So dagnabit say's 'damn kid how old are you' and I am leik 'I am so old I pulled a muscle trying to get the lid off my bottle of geritol.' and he's leik 'how old are you' so I say 32, and he's leik 'why you act like such a nwb?' So I say's my inner child has ADD.
Then my girlfriend walks in and say's what are you yelling about and I am leik I am talking to my imaginary friend. And she's all like 'nobody likes you even your imaginary friend hates you!!' ( Girls are so mean ) so she's leik 'do you know what time it is'and im like 'umm time for you to leave my room and let me pwn this hunter. and she's leik 'nope its time to go to work'
omg wtf rofltomato
and im like 'i feel kinda sick *cough *cough *sniff'
and shes like 'ok get in bed then you have to get up early for your first day on the job you loozr'
and im like 'oh i thought you meant I started today wow i feel better already!!'
So she calles me bad names and goes away
then this rogue named crassus sees the action and sends me a tell and is leik 'hey dude wanna group up??'
and im like 'whats that supposed to mean'
and hes like 'do you wanna group and gank this hunter?'
and im like 'Man I am not into that stuff I likes girls' /ignore crassus
Then my buddy popo shows up and he's like in bad shape cause he has leaves and twigs for armor and I'm leik 'popo what happened dude and he was leik st fu nwb' and I was leik 'dude your cooler then tom jones!!! U gotta come help me, I'm getting DP by these alliance'
so he's like "DP?"
'Double penetrated!They keep ganging up on me so help me kill this hunter.' And he's leik 'no thanks I am going to MC cause I am uber and yur a nwb !!' And he rides off into the sunset on a dinosaur which was cool, how often do you see a cow riding a dinosaur.
So I sneaks up to the hunter and I steels his gun and I am liek 'OOOHHH mr hunter whatch gonna doo I gotted your gun OOOOO!!!!'
But he cant do nuthing cause I am invisible and he cant see me. So he celebrates the occasion with more fireworks !! And I am telling my buddy juna this guy is odd he is celebrating about me stealing his gun!! And he 's liek yelling 'Pokey you fking nwb gimme my gun back!!' So i get scarded cause rogues are ubah but he hax . So I drop the gun and run but he shootz mer in teh back !! and I died cause gunshots hurt and he get honor from shooting me in teh backs!! Then this finger wiggler named annastasia comes up and dances on meh body!! and i'm leik 'omg wtf she is so hot!!' so she's like 'Hey baby how would you like a little [Flask of Mojo]' and i'm like 'no thanks I like pie. So you're really are a girl in RL?' she say's 'Yup, with sexy blonde hair too'
and i'm like' yeah, and chances are your like 300 lbs and smell like sausage' and she's like' no i dont smell like sausage >.< ' so i say 'But you're 300 lbs? '
-Annastasia is Ignoring You-
So i sees my guildy dkay is in WSG with his wife msdkay and they are getting pwnaged cause they got no rouges and he's like fighting this mage and telling the guild 'My wife is a sheep!' and i'm liek you from tennessee too?? Right then gets this tell from brag and he say's pokey come join us in molten core and I am leik Dude omw lemme run to the bank and get meh snowballs and super soaker!! And he's leik 'huh ? Well just hurry up.' and im liek 'your not the boss of me'
So I get's to molten core and I realize I forgetz meh pants at the bank!! so people are making fun of mah green snake and I am leik he's just shy and all the girls are laughing at me so I unsummon my green water snake and I summon my chicken instead but I still gots no pants but nobody seems to notice.
So while were waiting for the raid to form up i'm like 'hey juna check out mah epic mount' and she say's 'awesome, I sure could use a epic mount right now.' So I say's 'oh yah? where do you live????'
- Juna is Ignoring You -
Then I hears this gunshot outside my house and I am leik WTF but hillbillies be shotting for no reason so I forget about it and in liek 20 minutes a ambulance comes to my neighbors and I tell teh raid I gotta go afk my neighbor just gotz shotted and Imma gonna loot his house before his wife gets home. And they are liek WTF pokey we about to kill lucifron !! so I stay.
So we fighting luci and she's got some splaining to do cause she sploitz allot !!! I was stabbing her with a beer bottle i got from a midget in a bar fight and all the sudden the whole raid turns red and theyre mah enemies. F*king traitors!! so I am leik killing em all and yelling you #@%$!es tricked me and it scarded them cause they all then turned to my side again. So I am leik 2 can play this game so then i get this idea cause i like to think inside the box and stuff so I summon my mechanical yeti to help me pawn em but he's leik LLLEEERRROOOOY JEEENNNNKINNS and $!@% and runs up and attacks this imp instead. Karr is like 'Pokey get your head out of your assswwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwdddddssdsaaa11112122212'. Stupid nwb yeti so I hits my 'poof' button and dissapreared and the imps are leik pissed off and wipes the raid but I live cause rogues are ubbernest. I'm so smooth I can't believe I'm not butter.
So my guild leader Dkay sends me a tell asking me why I wiped the raid and I am leik 'they attacked me, they all conned red!!!' And he say's 'dude you were mind controlled'. and I am leik 'No I'm not the voices in my head DO NOT CONTROLL ME!!' so he boots me out of the guild.
Part 2
My adventure began when brag sends me a tell and say's 'pokey if I invites you to MC will you behave this time?' So i am leik 'What's a MC?' 'Molten Core pokey you've been there MC is a abbreviation.' And I am leik 'Why is abbreviation such a long word?' /em Brag lets out a long sigh. so I say's I promise and he's leik 'Pokey did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?' and I am leik 'I dont wanna be so open minded that meh brains fall out you know.'
So my girlfriend comes in meh room and say's 'you need to go pick up your brother from work get off that computer'. Sheesh I wish I had rolled a warlock then I could have just summoned him. Luckily I have add and forget about it but my girlfriend has to keep being mean to me so she comes in and say's 'are you still on that computer?' and I am leik 'I cant understand, you speaking human and imma orc... /bur.'
So she goes and gets meh brother. Haha mah tin foil gnomish mind control cap ftw!!! Enginerin is teh rock u kno.
So I run all the way to the molten coors and I take the leap of faith but I fall in the lava and dies for some reason. So I run all teh way back and say's 'why do i keep dying when i jump in? Cause your not in a raid dumbass and anyhow the window is over there. So i get into molten core again but this time I am keeping my eye on the raid cause last time they gots all sneaky on me. The voices in my head say it's a vast secret conspiracy of the boy scouts of america to take over the thorium widget market!!
Since I am there we do so good in teh coors that we gets to the third boss mob!!! I dont gets to see much cause they tend to forgets to rez me allot but I can see why tho in all the confusion and all. So I finally gets the rez and I was beating on this big rock guy's buddy named gary or somethin and blizard be cheating cause his buddies was immune to my ubberness but I was not to be deterred!!. Unfortunately most of the fight I couldnt consentrate cause this stupid lock keeps sending me tells somethign about banish but I was too busy to bother with his nwb arse so I tells him to stfu so he leik 'Pokey your a fking dork.' and i am leik ' No I am a ork see I gots green skin and everything sheeesh learn to spell' So we wipe cause the game cheats and stuff and everyone is all upset but I lived. Rogues alway's live yah know cause we gots teh sneeky sneeky poof poof button. Anyhow while we are waiting for a rez alesis asks if anyone is a minor cause of some dark iron ore. so i was leik 'This is such BS your age shouldnt have anything to do with what you get to loot.' then MsDkay say's 'pokey do you do drugs or are you normally like this?' Ands i am leik' did you know if you stick your tounge in a light socket everything tastes purple for like a hour?' so she's leik ' madness takes it toll pokey please have exact change ready' MsDkay is so wise but I gots the add and I forgets what we were talking about so i cant come up wiht a smart reply.
So we finally regroup and we get's the pwnage for teh garr and these nightslayer pants drop and those are about as rare as seeing richard simmons in a straight bar but poor pokey is hated by both jeebus and the debil so I loose the roll to a stupid nwb so am liek 'hey vortani let me see your pants' and he's leik 'Only if you buy me dinner.' Stupid nwbz prolly sploited the roll. But it's ok I am going for all INT gear now. You know what they say a smart rogue is a living rogue so I want to be the smartest rogue on the server.
So teh raid is over and well u know what they say home is where your hearthstone is. So i goes stone back to ogremart. So's I am good wiht the magicks and stuff and I am enchanting stuff in ogremart and this girl asks for a +50 health enchant to her chest so I give it to her and then another girl come up and asks for the same enchant And I am leik "I can't do you right now. I just blew my load on her chest." and she's leik 'uuuuhh ok perv' and I am leik 'I am not a perv i am a rogue'. Stupid girls.
P.S. I have decided to create my own guild <Neverland Ranch Survivors>. If your interested just contact one of our members. Currently we really need pallies..
Part 3
So today I decide to head to WSG and teach a few allaince the meaning of omgwtfbbqowned!!! I see this warrior and as I sneeks up on him he poofs into a sheeps!! ooooooo sneaky sneaky he is trying to hide from me. But I know your tricks you human in sheeps clothing!! So I hits him with a beer bottle and he's leik I will pawn you pokey!!!and I am leik Your mother is pawneded!!! Then Adonnis sends me a tell and say's pokey stop attacking imma sheeping him and I am leik WTF I thought you were on my side why you helping him hide TRAITOR!!!!!!!!! Can't trust anyone nowaday's but lucky for adonnis I get's another mission.
I gets a tell from forthetribes asking meh to come help in Molten coors. Hoooorayy time to give teh molten coors the ol what for. Last time we killed a big rock and some pebbles. This time we fire baron matchead or somethin.
So we fighting this big fire baron guy and us rogues arent allowed to melee him cause mages are jelaous of our ubbesequesnesstetc... so I am pew pewing him with mah bow and I notice people be assploding. I first noticed when half a taureen foot hits me in teh side of me head. But I'm leik oh well people assplode for no reason sometimes. Then I gets this tell and it's like YOUR THE BOMB!!! and I am leik oooo a fan! I likes fansmail. Then I gets 2 more tells saying your the bomb!! and I am leik oooohhh everyone loves pokey today yayyy!!!! Then the whole raid starts chanting pokey your the bomb!!! and I am leik thanks guy's but this isnt prolly the best time to adore the pokster. Unfortunatly I died before I was done with teh typeing of it. Some stupid nwb killed the raid whilst I was doing the thank us typings and such so we all had to rez which was good cause I was hungry.
These raids are so long I like to keep some food nearby. I gots this box of animal crakers and on the box it say's do not eat if seal is broked. So i opens them up and the giraffes and rhinos are fine but sure enough the dam seal was broked. wth amm I gona eat now? then I looks out my window and sees a truck at mah mailbox!!! so I say's "brb guy's a dude in a little white truck's stealing my mail again!" and vortani is leik' pokey that's the mail man dude.' so i'm liek oh that explains allot, thanks.'
We gets all rezzed up and I decide next time Imma gonne stabbing his arse. No more pew pew with mah bow. Sos I tell teh raid Imma gonna stab him so hard he feel like he getting a colonoscopy and the raid is leik do you even know what a colonoscopy is pokey? I guess I should never use words that you dont know the meaning of no matter how cool they sound. Then nanaoplous say's 'pokey have you ever tried drugs?' so I am leik 'Well I tried snorting coke one time but the bubbles kept tickling my knose.' Finally we get to fights the fire dude and we gets him this time unfortunately they forgets to rez me again and I somehow accideltally got removed from the raid. This game is so buggy.
Part 1
Earlier today in the barrens I ambushed this rogue named midnight and he was all leik ' rofltomato wtf pwnd!!!!1!!!1!!!!!!one!!!!2!!!!!!' And he was all like 'WTF nwb haxxorz!!! i report you cause u r a sploiter.' And I am leik' I'M RICK JAMES B!TCH pew pew!!' So he liek calls his buddies and this hunter shows up called dagnabit and he shotts fireworks but these firework are sploitz cause they broked my *poof* button!! And I am leik WTF my I win button is broked!! And he laughs at me!!So i'm leik 'wtf pwng I r a rouge and I could PWN you with a pair of plastic saftey siscorrs noob!! '
So dagnabit say's 'damn kid how old are you' and I am leik 'I am so old I pulled a muscle trying to get the lid off my bottle of geritol.' and he's leik 'how old are you' so I say 32, and he's leik 'why you act like such a nwb?' So I say's my inner child has ADD.
Then my girlfriend walks in and say's what are you yelling about and I am leik I am talking to my imaginary friend. And she's all like 'nobody likes you even your imaginary friend hates you!!' ( Girls are so mean ) so she's leik 'do you know what time it is'and im like 'umm time for you to leave my room and let me pwn this hunter. and she's leik 'nope its time to go to work'
omg wtf rofltomato
and im like 'i feel kinda sick *cough *cough *sniff'
and shes like 'ok get in bed then you have to get up early for your first day on the job you loozr'
and im like 'oh i thought you meant I started today wow i feel better already!!'
So she calles me bad names and goes away
then this rogue named crassus sees the action and sends me a tell and is leik 'hey dude wanna group up??'
and im like 'whats that supposed to mean'
and hes like 'do you wanna group and gank this hunter?'
and im like 'Man I am not into that stuff I likes girls' /ignore crassus
Then my buddy popo shows up and he's like in bad shape cause he has leaves and twigs for armor and I'm leik 'popo what happened dude and he was leik st fu nwb' and I was leik 'dude your cooler then tom jones!!! U gotta come help me, I'm getting DP by these alliance'
so he's like "DP?"
'Double penetrated!They keep ganging up on me so help me kill this hunter.' And he's leik 'no thanks I am going to MC cause I am uber and yur a nwb !!' And he rides off into the sunset on a dinosaur which was cool, how often do you see a cow riding a dinosaur.
So I sneaks up to the hunter and I steels his gun and I am liek 'OOOHHH mr hunter whatch gonna doo I gotted your gun OOOOO!!!!'
But he cant do nuthing cause I am invisible and he cant see me. So he celebrates the occasion with more fireworks !! And I am telling my buddy juna this guy is odd he is celebrating about me stealing his gun!! And he 's liek yelling 'Pokey you fking nwb gimme my gun back!!' So i get scarded cause rogues are ubah but he hax . So I drop the gun and run but he shootz mer in teh back !! and I died cause gunshots hurt and he get honor from shooting me in teh backs!! Then this finger wiggler named annastasia comes up and dances on meh body!! and i'm leik 'omg wtf she is so hot!!' so she's like 'Hey baby how would you like a little [Flask of Mojo]' and i'm like 'no thanks I like pie. So you're really are a girl in RL?' she say's 'Yup, with sexy blonde hair too'
and i'm like' yeah, and chances are your like 300 lbs and smell like sausage' and she's like' no i dont smell like sausage >.< ' so i say 'But you're 300 lbs? '
-Annastasia is Ignoring You-
So i sees my guildy dkay is in WSG with his wife msdkay and they are getting pwnaged cause they got no rouges and he's like fighting this mage and telling the guild 'My wife is a sheep!' and i'm liek you from tennessee too?? Right then gets this tell from brag and he say's pokey come join us in molten core and I am leik Dude omw lemme run to the bank and get meh snowballs and super soaker!! And he's leik 'huh ? Well just hurry up.' and im liek 'your not the boss of me'
So I get's to molten core and I realize I forgetz meh pants at the bank!! so people are making fun of mah green snake and I am leik he's just shy and all the girls are laughing at me so I unsummon my green water snake and I summon my chicken instead but I still gots no pants but nobody seems to notice.
So while were waiting for the raid to form up i'm like 'hey juna check out mah epic mount' and she say's 'awesome, I sure could use a epic mount right now.' So I say's 'oh yah? where do you live????'
- Juna is Ignoring You -
Then I hears this gunshot outside my house and I am leik WTF but hillbillies be shotting for no reason so I forget about it and in liek 20 minutes a ambulance comes to my neighbors and I tell teh raid I gotta go afk my neighbor just gotz shotted and Imma gonna loot his house before his wife gets home. And they are liek WTF pokey we about to kill lucifron !! so I stay.
So we fighting luci and she's got some splaining to do cause she sploitz allot !!! I was stabbing her with a beer bottle i got from a midget in a bar fight and all the sudden the whole raid turns red and theyre mah enemies. F*king traitors!! so I am leik killing em all and yelling you #@%$!es tricked me and it scarded them cause they all then turned to my side again. So I am leik 2 can play this game so then i get this idea cause i like to think inside the box and stuff so I summon my mechanical yeti to help me pawn em but he's leik LLLEEERRROOOOY JEEENNNNKINNS and $!@% and runs up and attacks this imp instead. Karr is like 'Pokey get your head out of your assswwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwdddddssdsaaa11112122212'. Stupid nwb yeti so I hits my 'poof' button and dissapreared and the imps are leik pissed off and wipes the raid but I live cause rogues are ubbernest. I'm so smooth I can't believe I'm not butter.
So my guild leader Dkay sends me a tell asking me why I wiped the raid and I am leik 'they attacked me, they all conned red!!!' And he say's 'dude you were mind controlled'. and I am leik 'No I'm not the voices in my head DO NOT CONTROLL ME!!' so he boots me out of the guild.
Part 2
My adventure began when brag sends me a tell and say's 'pokey if I invites you to MC will you behave this time?' So i am leik 'What's a MC?' 'Molten Core pokey you've been there MC is a abbreviation.' And I am leik 'Why is abbreviation such a long word?' /em Brag lets out a long sigh. so I say's I promise and he's leik 'Pokey did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?' and I am leik 'I dont wanna be so open minded that meh brains fall out you know.'
So my girlfriend comes in meh room and say's 'you need to go pick up your brother from work get off that computer'. Sheesh I wish I had rolled a warlock then I could have just summoned him. Luckily I have add and forget about it but my girlfriend has to keep being mean to me so she comes in and say's 'are you still on that computer?' and I am leik 'I cant understand, you speaking human and imma orc... /bur.'
So she goes and gets meh brother. Haha mah tin foil gnomish mind control cap ftw!!! Enginerin is teh rock u kno.
So I run all the way to the molten coors and I take the leap of faith but I fall in the lava and dies for some reason. So I run all teh way back and say's 'why do i keep dying when i jump in? Cause your not in a raid dumbass and anyhow the window is over there. So i get into molten core again but this time I am keeping my eye on the raid cause last time they gots all sneaky on me. The voices in my head say it's a vast secret conspiracy of the boy scouts of america to take over the thorium widget market!!
Since I am there we do so good in teh coors that we gets to the third boss mob!!! I dont gets to see much cause they tend to forgets to rez me allot but I can see why tho in all the confusion and all. So I finally gets the rez and I was beating on this big rock guy's buddy named gary or somethin and blizard be cheating cause his buddies was immune to my ubberness but I was not to be deterred!!. Unfortunately most of the fight I couldnt consentrate cause this stupid lock keeps sending me tells somethign about banish but I was too busy to bother with his nwb arse so I tells him to stfu so he leik 'Pokey your a fking dork.' and i am leik ' No I am a ork see I gots green skin and everything sheeesh learn to spell' So we wipe cause the game cheats and stuff and everyone is all upset but I lived. Rogues alway's live yah know cause we gots teh sneeky sneeky poof poof button. Anyhow while we are waiting for a rez alesis asks if anyone is a minor cause of some dark iron ore. so i was leik 'This is such BS your age shouldnt have anything to do with what you get to loot.' then MsDkay say's 'pokey do you do drugs or are you normally like this?' Ands i am leik' did you know if you stick your tounge in a light socket everything tastes purple for like a hour?' so she's leik ' madness takes it toll pokey please have exact change ready' MsDkay is so wise but I gots the add and I forgets what we were talking about so i cant come up wiht a smart reply.
So we finally regroup and we get's the pwnage for teh garr and these nightslayer pants drop and those are about as rare as seeing richard simmons in a straight bar but poor pokey is hated by both jeebus and the debil so I loose the roll to a stupid nwb so am liek 'hey vortani let me see your pants' and he's leik 'Only if you buy me dinner.' Stupid nwbz prolly sploited the roll. But it's ok I am going for all INT gear now. You know what they say a smart rogue is a living rogue so I want to be the smartest rogue on the server.
So teh raid is over and well u know what they say home is where your hearthstone is. So i goes stone back to ogremart. So's I am good wiht the magicks and stuff and I am enchanting stuff in ogremart and this girl asks for a +50 health enchant to her chest so I give it to her and then another girl come up and asks for the same enchant And I am leik "I can't do you right now. I just blew my load on her chest." and she's leik 'uuuuhh ok perv' and I am leik 'I am not a perv i am a rogue'. Stupid girls.
P.S. I have decided to create my own guild <Neverland Ranch Survivors>. If your interested just contact one of our members. Currently we really need pallies..
Part 3
So today I decide to head to WSG and teach a few allaince the meaning of omgwtfbbqowned!!! I see this warrior and as I sneeks up on him he poofs into a sheeps!! ooooooo sneaky sneaky he is trying to hide from me. But I know your tricks you human in sheeps clothing!! So I hits him with a beer bottle and he's leik I will pawn you pokey!!!and I am leik Your mother is pawneded!!! Then Adonnis sends me a tell and say's pokey stop attacking imma sheeping him and I am leik WTF I thought you were on my side why you helping him hide TRAITOR!!!!!!!!! Can't trust anyone nowaday's but lucky for adonnis I get's another mission.
I gets a tell from forthetribes asking meh to come help in Molten coors. Hoooorayy time to give teh molten coors the ol what for. Last time we killed a big rock and some pebbles. This time we fire baron matchead or somethin.
So we fighting this big fire baron guy and us rogues arent allowed to melee him cause mages are jelaous of our ubbesequesnesstetc... so I am pew pewing him with mah bow and I notice people be assploding. I first noticed when half a taureen foot hits me in teh side of me head. But I'm leik oh well people assplode for no reason sometimes. Then I gets this tell and it's like YOUR THE BOMB!!! and I am leik oooo a fan! I likes fansmail. Then I gets 2 more tells saying your the bomb!! and I am leik oooohhh everyone loves pokey today yayyy!!!! Then the whole raid starts chanting pokey your the bomb!!! and I am leik thanks guy's but this isnt prolly the best time to adore the pokster. Unfortunatly I died before I was done with teh typeing of it. Some stupid nwb killed the raid whilst I was doing the thank us typings and such so we all had to rez which was good cause I was hungry.
These raids are so long I like to keep some food nearby. I gots this box of animal crakers and on the box it say's do not eat if seal is broked. So i opens them up and the giraffes and rhinos are fine but sure enough the dam seal was broked. wth amm I gona eat now? then I looks out my window and sees a truck at mah mailbox!!! so I say's "brb guy's a dude in a little white truck's stealing my mail again!" and vortani is leik' pokey that's the mail man dude.' so i'm liek oh that explains allot, thanks.'
We gets all rezzed up and I decide next time Imma gonne stabbing his arse. No more pew pew with mah bow. Sos I tell teh raid Imma gonna stab him so hard he feel like he getting a colonoscopy and the raid is leik do you even know what a colonoscopy is pokey? I guess I should never use words that you dont know the meaning of no matter how cool they sound. Then nanaoplous say's 'pokey have you ever tried drugs?' so I am leik 'Well I tried snorting coke one time but the bubbles kept tickling my knose.' Finally we get to fights the fire dude and we gets him this time unfortunately they forgets to rez me again and I somehow accideltally got removed from the raid. This game is so buggy.
Ja mun mielestäni on ainakin siisteintä ikinä yrittää saada ne kaikki panemaan toisiaan 
