Legendaarinen Aristocrats -vitsi, josta tämä ihan perus versio sai meikäläisen nauramaan:
A bottom-of-the-rung talent agent is sitting behind his desk when a man enters his office. The talent agent looks up and says, "Yeah, whatd'ya want?" The man's a little nervous, but he enters, and following him are a little girl, a little boy carrying a boom-box, the man's wife and a baby in the wife's arms.
"Have I got an act for you, sir," says the man. "If you sign my family we'll make you the richest agent in the entire world!" The talent agent's heard it all before, and shakes his head in disbelief. "Fella," the agent says, "Everybody who's come through that door promises me the same damn thing. Besides, I don't sign 'family acts.'" "Oh, but we're different from any family act you've ever seen before!" the man claims. "Our act is special!"
The talent agent resigns himself and sighs. "Okay, buddy, you have one minute. You guys better impress me." "All right!" the man says. "Bobby, cue the music." The little boy then puts the boom-box down and hits "play," and a classic Mozart piece starts playing.
The whole family starts ballet dancing, jumping, turning and balancing on one foot, and then the kids start doing flips around the room. Then the husband forcefully grabs his wife, knocks the baby out of her hands, rips off her clothes, and then starts deep kissing her while man-handling her huge tits and massaging her round ass.
The baby hits the floor and starts screaming, and the little boy and little girl go over to it, quickly strip, and then start peeing on the baby. The father then stops kissing his wife, winds up and slugs her full on the nose, and sends her flying into the wall. The father then rips off his own clothes, moves over to his three children, and smacks the little boy and little girl in their faces with his giant, erect dick, like a baseball bat, until they both get knocked off their feet. The father then proceeds to squat and shit all over the screaming child on the floor, and soon the mother and two other kids join him. Then the father turns to the talent agent and says, "And now, for our tribute to the victims of 9-11," and the whole family starts running around the giant shit pile screaming, "Oh my GOD!! AhhhhhhH! The buildings!! The buildings are falling!!! AAAiiiiiiEEEeee! Nooooo!!!" Then the husband bends down, grabs a big handful of steaming shit from the pile, rubs it all over his face and starts yelling "Mammie! Mammie! Oh, Mammie!" while the kids pick up the baby and shove it head-first up the mom's twat until it gets stuck half-way in with its feet still outside, kicking like crazy. The father then proceeds to ass-fuck the half-immerged baby while the little girl sucks off the baby's tiny dick, and the son eats out the mother's asshole. The father soon violently cums all over the baby, the daughter and the mother while the son finishes off by shoving his fist up the mother's asshole, punching the baby free where it lands on the talent agent's desk.
The whole family turns to the talent agent and yells, "Ta-daaaah!" Then they take a deep bow.
The talent agent is beyond words. After a long pause he's finally able to talk again and he says, "That's a hell of an act." The family just smiles back at him while patting each other on the backs. The agent continues, "I gotta know, what do you guys call yourselves?"
The man gets all serious and snaps his fingers in a theatrical way and says, "The Aristocrats!"
South Parkin Cartman versio:
http://www.spschat.com/RareMedia/videos/southparkjoke-thearistocrats.wmv
-Kaveri kertoi kanssa joskus ihan mainion viidentoista minuutin versionsa vitsistä :)
