It was homecoming night at my high school
Everyone was there, it was totally cool
I was really excited, I almost wet my jeans
'Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming Queen
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon
Riding the float with her tiara on
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand
She looked straight out of Disneyland
You know, like the Cinderella ride
I mean definitely an E ticket
The crowd was cheering
Everyone was stoked
I mean it was like the whole school
Was totally coked or something
The band was playing "Evergreen"
When all of a sudden somebody screamed
"Look out! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!"